The Art of Pausing

“A person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts. So he loses touch with Reality, and lives in a world of illusion.”

-Alan Watts

Today's modern life has it's own rhythm that if you aren't careful it can really sweep you up in it. From birth you are likely to only get a few years before you are put on the rails of society. Grades school starts us young getting into a rhythm of always working towards the next thing. As you enter each grade you do so with the understanding it is to prepare you for the next grade. School is to prepare you for adulthood and the "real world". The next thing after school is either more school or finding some sort of sustainable income through working. While you are working you are encouraged to save money and structure your life towards a retirement when you can perhaps finally rest. Most people never get off these rails and they become some of the main structures they build their identities on. The hustle and bustle of modern life has us so focused on these goals there's not much room for actual living. We can become so action oriented that we are always focused on what we need to do next, even in our free time.

Burnout, fatigue and depression have become modern concerns. Health and wellness has shifted from a buzzword to a real movement. People are waking up to the realities that there is more to life than working to live. We are human beings not human doings. Our lives are more than a series of things we want/need to accomplish. A personal meditation practice is one way that can help us to slow down and connect with and even savor our lives. Unfortunately in this busy life we have created for ourselves it can be hard to find time or motivation to seclude oneself and sit on a cushion for an hour. These modern problems require modern solutions enter The Art of Pausing.

This simple practice is a great way to reset and even recharge. It is quick and easy to pick up and employ but can take a life time to master. Mastering this technique will have a subtle and profound effect on your life.

Let's begin with how to pause:

All you need is 2 minutes

In order to pause all you need at a minimum is two minutes. This technique works best if you have a watch or a timer on your phone. Setting an actual timer creates a container, a space composed of time, during which you can give yourself fully (as best you can) to the practice. So first you set a timer for two minutes, then you pause as best you can for those two minutes.

Lets Talk about technique

So you are a living breathing human being with thoughts and feelings (and things to do) so how does one pause exactly? The answer is, as best you can. Seriously its that simple. This technique is designed to be very low stress. The ideal here is to see how well you can stop for two minutes and just be. For two minutes you have nowhere to be, nothing to do except pause and be. In the beginning when you are first trying this don't go to war with your self trying to "clear your mind" or really change anything about how you feel. Take this two minutes to instead tune into your thoughts and feelings without necessarily trying to change them or even judge them. During this two minutes there is no such thing as a wrong thought or feeling. In fact it is entirely impossible for the entire two minutes to do anything incorrectly. Whatever thoughts or feelings arise they are the correct ones. Even any thoughts about how you aren't doing it right, those are fine too. Any noises or distractions that around you that you notice during this two minutes are correct. Play with how well you can actually Pause from thoughts about life and what to next or what isn't going right. How well can you not think or even be anything in particular for two minutes. What does it feel like to not be able to be or feel "incorrectly". What does it feel like to have nothing to other than exactly what you are doing. How well can you disconnect from your responsibilities and pressures for this two minutes can you let your self off the hook. With time and practice you will be able pause anywhere anytime, especially if you are feeling overwhelmed. You can pause and disconnect from thoughts and pressure on what "needs" doing or what's going wrong and connect to your being. Over time you will become an expert at pausing.

When the timer beeps

You resume life. You don't think about how well you did or didn't do during the pause. Instead you resume. You go do something else. Remember this is a practice not a perfection, so be kind and patient with your self as you try this.

So try this technique out and see how it helps you. Take time to pause whenever you are feeling overwhelmed or restless. Give your self two minutes to just be.

Stepping into the Practice

The technique of pausing can be powerful but only if we actually use it in our daily lives. When we take up pausing as a practice it become an invitation to unclench, to temporarily step out of the often engrossing story of what's going on in our lives and instead step into ourselves, a chance to get centered in our very being. So we have the tool now we just need to know when to use it. Transitions are a good place to start. When we get in the car before we speed off to the next thing, it is possible to just pause. Before you head out to work pause. When you get home from work, before you get into what's next take 2 minutes to pause.

Pausing can even be used to help you break out of avoidant behavior patterns. Is there something you know that needs to get done but you keep putting it off? If there is an some activity that we have anxiety around doing for whatever reason pausing can be a great way to allow for how we feel but also break up the thoughts around the activity. So the next time you want to do something and you feel your self getting over whelmed, Set your timer, take your pause. Stop thinking about what needs to get done, how long it will take, how much you dont want to or whatever the pressure is. Just pause, allow yourself to feel the overwhelm but feel it without feeding the story. Just pause for two minutes and be a human who feels a bit overwhelmed. Connect with yourself as living, feeling being. Then when the timer stops see if you can just go do the thing. Don't be discouraged if the pause doesn't work at first to get you going. Like any art it takes time to get good at it. With practice you will get so good at pausing, that these momentary breaks will refresh and refocus you. If in those two minutes you can truly let yourself off the hook, to get it done, to get it right, to do or be anything other than exactly as you are, then you will start to truly understand the power of the practice.

Ok so you have the practice and some ways to use it. Get out there and start playing with it. Try incorporating it into your life and watch how such a simple thing can change your life. Life isn't just about all the hustle and bustle it about all the moments in between. Take time to stop and just be. Step into the feeling of being enough just as you are. When we step into those two minutes the vibe is No wrong moves.

Stay tuned I will be writing more about this and other techniques.