Mark: There are specific sensations that bring about the shadowing of Awareness, and it seems that is related to movement, such as walking. The separate self has some sense of solidity in certain locations in these moving positions and I’m wondering why that is.
iRealization: It’s all about identity. Before you say “movement” the question is “What is this I which is causing this sensation?” The sensation is caused by an I. The I is not there – suddenly – there is something that causes the sensation.
Mark: I’d say the sensation is the I.
iRealization: Ok. So if the sensation itself is the I then what exactly is that I? What exactly is the sensation of?
It’s a thought – it’s the movement of an idea. It’s the movement of knowledge. Something reactionary is happening there, you know? Something has triggered the reaction, so you are reacting.
What does reaction mean? Knowledge is triggered, meaning that knowledge starts operating.
Mark: When I think of knowledge I think of something structured. Knowledge can be any object, right?
iRealization: Knowledge is stored, which makes it memory-based. Knowledge is not some special positive thing. Knowledge means ignorance, they are the same.
Mark: But I don’t feel that there’s a belief there. It’s just knowledge operating… Yeah, I guess that’s what you’re saying.
iRealization: For example, I say that I’m walking – that is knowledge. It’s not a question of belief, it is evident.
Mark: Yeah, makes sense.
iRealization: Right. So that knowledge is evident. Now the next question becomes: Who is the one who knows this knowledge? Because the sensation is to the knower only, you see? The sensation is to the one who senses. The one who senses is the I. The I is the sensation, the movement of knowledge, which means the trigger. You can only sense something that’s specific, and that is a specific trigger, like remembering something in particular, then you feel sad, angry, fearful or whatever. This is knowledge based on memory. Memory, knowledge, foolishness, ego, all the same.
Mark: The thing by itself is harmless, right? But there’s this chain of reaction that leads to aversion and trying to do something about it and then trying to investigate in order to get rid of it. It’s always aversion.
iRealization: For you to get rid of it or say that it is harmless or not harmless, it comes back to what is that thing. And to whom is it harmless or not harmless? Both of those things are knowledge only – knowledge talking about knowledge. The knower itself is the known, but the actual Knower, the Knowing, cannot be known, you see? It never becomes the known. So the knower is the known and it is never the Knowing. In this way, the question of harmless or not is only in relation to knowledge, of knowing some thing. Pertaining to the known.
There can never be any relationship whatsoever to the Knowing itself – there is no connection possible. The connections are only in the realm of consciousness, which is knowledge. To your point about structure, structure means what? Structure of knowledge is what exactly? It is a network – each point is an idea – and it is a property, an attribute. When you say “hot”, you actually mean that temperature equals to X, Y, Z, and compare it to whatever you want, thus becoming “hot” or “cold”. Becoming right or wrong, and all the things that appear. This is the structure of knowledge. So once you realize its mechanisms, its operation, is there any validity to it?
Mark: How’s there preference between things? How do you like one sensation so much and another one throws you off completely?
iRealization: First of all, you have to see clearly what are all the pieces needed. You need objectification, you need individuals who have preferences and therefore past and present and future. How does a preference get created? A preference for pleasurable things is the automatic aversion to the things that are not preferable or pleasurable. So it’s all based on pleasure, the fleeting pleasure of the senses. Otherwise there is no notion of pleasure because it’s only senses that tell you that. So when knowledge operates, senses operate.
Senses are imaginary because in the dream state, there are also senses – one feels all the things and it shows you clearly that it is operating in consciousness when actually you are asleep. That conscious state is a bit transient, it goes fast, but when you wake up nothing actually happened.
This state we’re in feels a bit more gross, it feels more real. One describes this state as waking but only in the present tense can you call it “waking”. In the past tense you call it a dream. But yesterday’s memory and today’s dream memory, you are distinguishing it because you feel there is some continuity about all of this – like a TV show – different episodes and seasons have the continuity there, you know? But in fact, there’s no continuity. It is just a story. Imagination.
Mark: What is the value of practice? Because in my mind it seems that it’s worthless.
iRealization: That’s why they say that no action can get you there.
Mark: It seems to help, like…
iRealization: See, don’t try to describe it now for other people. It is only for oneself. This whole process is for whom? It’s for oneself. You realize what is the important or helpful thing. There’s no use trying to understand from the perspective of ignorance. It is illusory, that understanding, it’s more ignorance only. There are no people, there are nobodys there.
Mark: That’s the thing, exactly.
iRealization: So there’s nobody there. To whom is the instruction given? There’s no one there. So once you realize this, there’s neither the guru, nor the student, nor there is suffering, nor there is bondage. There is nothing. Repeatedly telling “I am this”, or “I practice like that…” What is the use?
Practice is like driving, you know? During the practice of driving, it is important. After that it is not important. Telling somebody you should drive by remembering the instructions is a foolish thing, you know? And in fact when you are driving you’re definitely not remembering the instructions. You’re acting! In reality, in action, without worries to recall a certain instruction when there’s a bump in the road.
Mark: That’s the thing that has been happening. Trying to create knowledge out of the previous understanding of what’s real.
iRealization: It’s not about trying to create. You just see that it’s the nature of knowledge to emanate a shadow.
Mark: Yeah, but when the shadow comes I can only think “This is so stupid because everything is happening! Why am I so stuck in this when I previously found out that everything is happening and there’s no one making it happen? Just a free unfolding. And now here I am trying to do something about it.”
iRealization: Who is that I that’s trying to do something about it?
See… is it amazing or it stupid? Is it like a yogi or is it like a foolish man? Is it like the enlightened being or is it like the stupid being? Which one is it? That question itself is the foolish question, right? It’s neither stupid, nor it is intelligent. So for you to say it is stupid, is the problem now. It’s neither. To say it is anything… it cannot be described! It is actual.
Mark: Even the ignorance.
iRealization: It is not there, you see? Something that is not there, in what way will you describe it? You can describe it in any way you like. What is actually there is only one thing. Actual. The Supreme is all there is. Now you can describe that in any way and create an idea about it using any words.
Knowledge, whatever you create, will never reach the Knowing factor. Knowing and knowledge are like water and oil, they cannot mix. They are of a different nature. Only objects of the same nature can mix and coexist, so to speak.
Mark: That’s timely because of a question I have. So what I call objects, the objects of consciousness, what are they made of? Are they essentially also Knowing?
iRealization: Yes. Only the knowing of that object is the reality. The actual object never existed, like a ghost.
Mark: That’s why they say that it’s empty?
iRealization: Yes, that is called emptiness by the people who do not go past it. What exactly is emptiness? Can anything be empty? It has no meaning because there is only one thing and it’s all there is. There is no notion of emptiness. Empty is only compared to objects… again. So, in fact, what is it actually? It is fullness, you know?
Mark: Wow.
iRealization: There’s no space at all. Nothing to move. Nothing moves. Nothing moves! It’s perfect, like the ocean itself. Because it is full of itself. There’s no room for anything else.
Mark: What do you mean with “nothing moves”?
iRealization: When you say something moves – how is that perception happening? And who is the perceiver there? Knowledge is operating there for there to be knower, known and knowing. Otherwise there is only Knowing. There is no knowledge, therefore there is no movement. Knowing is the Absolute Stillness. Total quiet. Perfection. There is no opinion, you see?
The actual thing, as it is. Which is what? The fullness of it.
In that, if you see for example a mirage, or if you see the dream, the knowledge of all the things – the actual Knowledge – is what?
It is that everything you’re seeing and that all that is happening is happening without any opinion. The table doesn’t come and tell you that it is a table. The table is very quiet. The mountain never says it’s a mountain.
Mark: Nothing does, right? Even a thought that speaks something which has an opinion, in reality it doesn’t say anything.
iRealization: That means consciousness itself is the opinion which comes and goes in the states of waking and dreaming. But something that is fleeting cannot be the real.
…
This is the dream. That has to become clear. Only from a dream can one awake, you know? There is no question of awakening otherwise. And what is already awake, they say? That thing which is already awake is the thing that is between all the states, you see? It is seeing all the states. Whether or not there is any state, it knows that.
But itself – it is not known – it knows anything else as an object but it is itself the Knowing. Intelligence. For there to be anything there has to be the knowing of it, no?
Not as knowledge, not as ideas, but the fact that it exists itself. Existence itself has to be there.
Mark: Definitely. When there is clarity, the knowledge or the objects themselves, make clear that I am not them.
iRealization: That’s exactly right. What you just said means that no longer is the Knowing becoming confused with the known. That means that the knower is the known and there is no problem – let the known be there – what difference does it make?
Any knowledge is just the knowledge and it has no bearing on the Knowing, so what difference does it make, whether there is any knowledge or no knowledge? If there is consciousness or no consciousness? What difference does it make?
Mark: Yeah…
iRealization: Once this is very, very clear, then this movement stops because what is movement? For there to be movement… it is actually the perception of movement. It is only a perception, it is not actual. Because perception is the knowledge. That’s why they say that perception is reality. Not perception of any object, but the perception itself. Cognition. But to cognize something, that becomes the problem. You see, why do you need to cognize, you know?
Mark: Which is never really happening, right?
iRealization: It’s always happening unawares and that is the illusion, this false I, the ego. It is cognizing – it is saying “this is happening”, “that is happening” – the knowledge is operating. That is called cognition.
So once you see cognition in action there is no problem. It is just cognition.
It is recognition, you might call it, constantly recognizing only the past. Whereas Cognition does not require recognition. Cognition of cognition. So it comprehends itself. It is intelligent about itself. Aware of awareness. Awareness is aware of itself, you see?
There is only Awareness.
Mark: That part has become clear recently that there’s not, as you said, the part of recognizing which is bringing on the past and memories and giving meaning and making concepts alive. That falls apart. In my mind I couldn’t understand before how you could function in the world and understand concepts with that part not being there.
iRealization: Yes. One is not functioning in the world, you know? One is creating the world by its own functioning.
Mark: Wow. Yeah!
iRealization: Functioning does not need anybody. It’s functioning! It’s a process automatically happening, It’s an eternal thing. Constantly it is happening. The very fact that it is happening is the clue to what it is.
Artwork - Courtesy of Daniel Olah
