Happiness can be elusive, particularly if one's stance is one of searching for it. How will it be recognized? Most likely through reflection, by looking to memory. This creates a barrier. Happiness then must be accumulated through time - a collection of happy moments approaching some arbitrary threshold so that one can reflect and know themselves to be happy. The path looks something like:
Accumulate (memories/moments) -> Assess/Reflect -> Relate to assessment.
There are many points of failure here. Also, this puts one in a posture of waiting - waiting for enough time and enough good moments. This also makes happiness dependent not just on external circumstances, but also how one is relating to them and/or how one is relating to themselves. This sort of waiting and delay is something I have seen in many ways when it comes to knowing oneself. The common route is through reflection, which through its mechanics, creates a sort of delay. One must happen and occur in a way that one recognizes, and then further, one must relate to this understanding.
In the end, it would seem that such a search for happiness is misaligned. Perhaps happiness as an idea haunts the one that searches for it. I feel that what is actually wanted is a more direct appreciation for oneself, lest one have to wrestle and contend with a self-image.
It seems to me that one must die - die to any idea of themselves, of happiness. The invitation here, it seems, is to acquire a taste for life in its myriad of flavors. To step past the polarity of good and bad and revel in the inherent suchness of the present unfolding. Of course, even the idea of the present can become an obstacle. As soon as one starts searching for it, they again take on a posture of waiting, and they do so all the while overlooking the very presence of said unfolding present.
There is no need to wait for oneself when we have direct access to said self. There is no need to wait for or search for the present. In my own engagements with this, I have found it to be more about having a stance of allowing - of relaxing all the subtle tensions in which I've come to hold and behold myself. In the beginning, this can be quite the undertaking, as one will have to meet and greet with that which they have been avoiding. All the ways the mind comes in, trying to mitigate and manage one’s existence, will feel of tension —an acute lack of ease.
I hesitate to be more explicit or prescriptive on ways to become more aware of the ease of being. There are infinite variations of ways that one can tangle themselves in, and no catch-all for untangling that.
I will say, though, that this isn't about coming to some sort of understanding, and oneself is not a puzzle to solve or figure out. Truly, the good news is that all the work is already done. When looking to allow and accept oneself, it isn't something one needs to manage or maintain. Look no further than all the ways that one's existence is fully accepted and facilitated by all of existence. All the ways reality yields to all that you are so that you can know yourself unimpeded, uncontested, unresisted. And as woven into and composed of this very tapestry of reality that you are, this acceptance is your acceptance, and one need only come to recognize it and allow said recognition to enter into their awareness/experience. You don't even need to know how to do it; just having an interest and intention is enough, and it will be revealed through whatever path or practice one attempts.
